Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick


Categories: Personal

A little after nine last night, my phone rang. It was my friend dave.

“Can you do me a huge favor?”

“Sure, Dave.”

“Can you get me the address for the Aspen Medical urgent care clinic in Bloomington?”

I came up with the address. That was it. I found myself wondering; what’s up? What’s Dave running to an urgent care clinic for? Does this involve Sylvia, who’s young enough that she ought to still be under warranty? Is it Jordan? Is Dave in danger, perhaps bleeding to death? He’s always so strangely calm that you’d never know.

So, the next day, I call. Dave is still strangely calm, but he explains: It is, in fact, pretty much exactly as bad as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. While moving a chair into his house, he was struck in the face by a branch. What’s impressive here is that it hit his right eye, even though the tree was to his left, and it managed to do this despite his glasses.

Dave now has an impressive-looking eyepatch, as well as three different prescription medications. Apparently, his cornea is scratched; this is bad. It should feel a bit better in a day or two, but it’ll take six weeks before it’s fully healed.

Dave informs me that, in fact, just about everything is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Good to know that cliches stand up to the harsh light of reality.