So, I was at SuperAmerica (local convenience store chain), and some guy stole about $40 of gas. Put gas in truck, drove off without even hanging up the hose.
I’d just like to make this very clear: Dude, whoever you are, you impressed the hell out of us. Your can-do attitude, your calm authority, the way you ran like a weasel that just saw a hawk’s shadow; you really showed us what you’re made of. I’d like to know that everyone in that SuperAmerica thinks you’re hung like a horse. We are in awe of your brilliance. Your scheme was foolproof. We all appreciate paying extra to subsidize you.
Sometimes, people are just pathetic. It’s depressing. Imagine a life in which stealing a bit of gas from a convenience store is one of the highlights of your day. Hell, if the guy were that desperate, if he really had some immediate need, he coulda asked for help, and people might have helped. On the other hand, people in giant trucks with huge gas tanks often don’t have the ability to see into the distant future and realize that a giant truck will cost a lot to drive around.