Giant eagles threaten Xinjiang province


Categories: Headlines

Dissociated Press, August 22, 2007

Giant eagles are wreaking havoc in the northern province of Xinjiang. Originally bred as a response to an invasion of giant gerbils, the giant eagles have been preying on large rodents, medium-sized cats, small dogs, very small pandas, and tiny elephants.

The infestation is the worst in the province since 2003, when it was overrun by giant gerbils, or 1993, when it was overrun by Communist officials. The strategy of breeding giant eagles to prey upon the giant gerbils seemed, at the time, an exceptionally clever and forward-looking one; officials blame lack of access to 1950’s science fiction and horror movies for their disastrous error.

“I knew an old lady who swallowed a horse.”