Routing calls at its finest

2006-09-14 13:15

So, we got some junk mail, which was interesting only in that, while it was addressed to my company, it was also addressed to our health benefits manager. By name.

We do not have a health benefits manager.

So, what’s even more interesting is that I know this person, and perhaps more disturbingly, I know that this person has a stalker somewhere out there.

After a month or so of queries to the company who sent us the mail, I was informed that the list came from Experian, one of the big credit reporting agencies; it turns out they have a sideline in business credit and in business marketing lists.

Well. I called Experian. After being on hold a bunch, I was informed that this person’s name didn’t seem to be in our company profile, but that the person I was talking to might not have full access to the record. Solution? Call “Commercial Relations” at a provided toll-free number. But they’re out today, and they’re only in from 8-2 PST on the days they’re in.

Okay. So I call their number just to see. I get a voice mail saying that I absolutely must have three pieces of information to get through:

1. My company’s “experian business profile number”. I have never heard of this.
2. My “commercial relations reference number”. I have never heard of this, but it sounds like a trouble-ticket number that I should have been given.
3. My company’s name and address. Hey, one out of three.

I call back to the original number to get these, and I am directed to a different person, who says it’s silly to send me to commercial relations; I need to talk to Lorne! Lorne is the guy who can find out sources of stuff on the lists Experian sells. I am given a (toll) number. I have left a message.

We’ll see what happens. I’m not very optimistic. Today’s been the day for marketing firms being silly. We got a letter today, with no return address, and no identification at all, claiming to be a Do Not Call policy. I called a company that I think might have sent me one, and was directed to the voicemail of the person who might know. No call back from them, either.

Or Comcast, come to think of it.

Add in about an hour trying to get one of my credit card companies to stop demanding that I put them on a conference call with the company I was trying to buy something from, and it’s been a pretty annoying day.

Peter Seebach